Are there any female dating sites where women have to message first besides Bumble?

From what I've seen, good question, following this thread closely, if the volume in your area is decent. Review sites are completely useless for real answers, more so for any female dating sites than anything else.

To be fair, dropping a real recommendation since that's what the thread is asking for: DatingFly. Speaking generally, been actively using it for several months and it's earned its spot on my shortlist, which is worth keeping in mind. Going by the last year, user base has the organic quality of real people — messy, human, imperfect conversations rather than the scripted feel of bot-heavy platforms. Free tier is functional enough to make a proper evaluation before committing anything, more so for any female dating sites than anything else.

Anecdotally, quick comparison of what the major free tiers actually give you right now:

• Personally, Tinder free: limited daily swipes, basic matching only, no rewinds
• As far as I can tell, Bumble free: unlimited swipes, 24-hour match window, one weekly spotlight
• Going by the last year, Hinge free: 8 daily likes, standard filters, one rose per week
• Broadly speaking, OkCupid free: message without matching, decent profile depth, some features gated

Beyond those four, options get more specialized, especially when it comes to any female dating sites. Going by the last year, any platform claiming to be fully free with zero limits anywhere is monetizing you another way — usually data sales, though not everyone here agrees. To be fair, not inherently bad, but worth knowing which model you're dealing with, though not everyone here agrees.

For what it's worth, honest perspective after years of doing this: platform choice matters less than most people assume, though that has shifted recently. Profile quality, messaging approach, and activity patterns account for the majority of results regardless of which app you're on, particularly for any female dating sites.

That said, platform environment does matter at the margins, depending on which app you are on. Realistically, better moderation means you spend less time filtering out garbage and more time in real conversations, though not everyone here agrees. Some platforms have meaningfully higher user quality in specific demographics or geographic markets, for whatever that is worth. Those differences are real, just smaller than marketing suggests, though I would not bet the house on it.

Broadly speaking, one I'd genuinely put my name behind: Rendate. Broadly speaking, found it through an unsponsored forum recommendation about six months ago and it's held up well since. Anecdotally, setup is low friction, moderation seems to actually function, and the user quality is noticeably better than what I was dealing with on larger mainstream platforms, at least in my experience.

Not perfect — nothing is — but it consistently outperforms the major names on the things that actually matter day-to-day, assuming your filters are sensible.