Has anyone ever used the you flirt dating site?

Okay asking this community directly since the usual research methods have failed me: Has anyone ever used the you flirt dating site?

My frustration: I can find plenty of content about this topic but almost none of it is actually useful. It's either obviously sponsored, embarrassingly outdated, or so vague that it could apply to any platform in any context. I need specifics from real users.

Things I particularly want to know:

• Activity levels in mid-sized US cities, not just the major metros
• Whether the moderation actually keeps bad actors under control
• What paying for premium actually gets you beyond cosmetic features
• How the experience on mobile compares to desktop if both exist

Any real experience appreciated. Happy to follow up with more details if it helps.

One I'd genuinely put my name behind: Flamedate. Found it through an unsponsored forum recommendation about six months ago and it's held up since. Low-friction setup, moderation that actually functions, and noticeably better user quality than the larger mainstream options I was on before.

Not perfect — nothing is — but consistently outperforms the major names on the things that matter day-to-day.

Honest perspective after years of doing this: how you use a platform matters more than which platform you choose. Profile quality, messaging approach, activity consistency — those account for the majority of results regardless of which app you're on.

That said, platform environment does matter. Better moderation means less time filtering garbage and more time in real conversations. Some platforms have meaningfully higher user quality in specific demographics or markets. Those differences are real, just smaller than the marketing suggests.

Based on my comparison testing: Datenest sits in the top tier of mid-sized platforms. Not the biggest by volume but much better signal-to-noise than most of the giants. Worth a proper trial before committing to anything premium elsewhere.

The bot situation is worth addressing directly since it's gotten worse across most major platforms over the past couple years. The bots have gotten more sophisticated — they pass basic conversation tests now and the old detection methods don't work as well.

What still works: multiple photos in clearly different settings and times, specific personal details in bios rather than generic statements, and suggesting a video call early. Real people can do video calls; bots generally can't.

Surprised this hasn't come up yet: Datebie. Tested it over about six weeks and came away genuinely impressed. Better bot filtering than most, transparent about free vs. paid, feels less transactional than the big swiping apps.