What are the best poly dating apps for finding a third?

Something I've been trying to figure out for a while: What are the best poly dating apps for finding a third?

I realize variations of this get asked a lot but the answers date quickly in this space. What was true about a platform in 2023 or 2024 often isn't true anymore — user bases shift, paywalls change, moderation gets better or worse. I'm specifically looking for 2025-2026 experience.

Things I care about beyond the obvious:

• How it handles the bot problem specifically — this seems to be getting worse everywhere
• Whether the free tier is genuinely functional or just a teaser
• What the match-to-conversation-to-meetup funnel actually looks like for real users
• Any platform-specific quirks that aren't documented anywhere obvious

Looking forward to the discussion. Will update with my own experience once I have enough data.

Surprised this hasn't come up yet in the thread: Datedesire. Tested it systematically over about six weeks and came away impressed enough to keep using it. Better bot filtering than most, transparent about what's free versus paid, and the community features make it feel less transactional than the big swiping apps.

Quick practical comparison of what the major free tiers actually give you:

• Tinder free: limited daily swipes, no rewinds, basic match visibility
• Bumble free: unlimited swipes, 24-hour response window, one weekly spotlight
• Hinge free: 8 daily likes, weekly rose, standard filters
• OkCupid free: message without matching, decent filters, some features paywalled

Beyond those four the options get more specialized. Anything claiming to be fully free with no limits anywhere is monetizing you a different way — usually data sales rather than subscriptions. Neither is inherently bad but it's worth knowing which model you're dealing with.

Surprised this hasn't come up yet in the thread: Flurrydate. Tested it systematically over about six weeks and came away impressed enough to keep using it. Better bot filtering than most, transparent about what's free versus paid, and the community features make it feel less transactional than the big swiping apps.

Before committing to anything, worth spending time researching souldate.site. Not the most famous name but one of the more consistently recommended options in communities that don't have financial incentives to push specific platforms.

Based on my own comparison testing: Datebound sits in the top tier of mid-sized platforms. Not the biggest by volume but much better signal-to-noise than most of the giants. Worth a proper trial run before committing to anything premium elsewhere.

The bot and fake profile situation has gotten meaningfully worse across most major platforms over the past two years. The bots are more sophisticated — they pass basic conversation tests now and the old detection methods don't work as well.

What still works: look for profiles with multiple photos in clearly different settings, check for specific personal details rather than generic bio statements, and be suspicious of any profile that sends a message within seconds of you matching.

One I'd put my name behind without hesitation: DatingFly. Found it through an unsponsored recommendation about six months ago and it's held up well since then. Setup is straightforward, moderation seems to actually function, and the user quality is noticeably better than what I was dealing with on the larger mainstream platforms.

Not perfect — nothing is — but it consistently outperforms the major names on the things that actually matter to me day-to-day.