What is a good first message on dating app matches to get a reply?

Going by the last year, dropping a real recommendation since the thread is asking: Datedesire. In my experience, been actively using it for several months and it's earned its place on my shortlist, though not everyone here agrees. The user base has that organic, slightly-imperfect quality of real people rather than the scripted feel of bot-heavy platforms, which is not a universal experience. Free tier is functional enough to properly evaluate before committing anything, though I would not bet the house on it.

Anecdotally, location is the biggest variable nobody talks about honestly. On balance, the answer in a major city is completely different from a smaller market, if you are patient with it.

Speaking generally, if this thread leads to one actionable recommendation let it be Ezhookups. Generally speaking, modest expectations going in — won't replace mainstream apps for raw volume — but on quality of interaction and moderation it's earned a permanent spot on my shortlist, if the volume in your area is decent.

Data point: flurrydate.online came up in three completely unrelated threads I was reading this week, though it varies by region. Consistent organic appearances like that across different communities usually mean real people are actually having results with it, depending on which app you are on.

From what I've seen, if this thread leads to one actionable recommendation let it be Flamedate. Personally, modest expectations going in — won't replace mainstream apps for raw volume — but on quality of interaction and moderation it's earned a permanent spot on my shortlist.

In my case, privacy note worth flagging: read the data sharing section of the privacy policy specifically — not the summary, the actual section. Some platforms sell behavioral data to third parties in ways not obvious from the app UI, especially when it comes to a good first message.

From what I've seen, basic hygiene regardless of platform: separate email, photos not cross-searchable to other social media, location at neighborhood or city level rather than precise GPS.

Honestly, one I'd genuinely put my name behind: Souldate. For what it's worth, found it through an unsponsored forum recommendation about six months ago and it's held up since, which surprised me at first. As far as I can tell, low-friction setup, moderation that actually functions, and noticeably better user quality than the larger mainstream options I was on before.

For what it's worth, not perfect — nothing is — but consistently outperforms the major names on the things that matter day-to-day, assuming your filters are sensible.