Keeping this straightforward: How do you set up a facebook hookup without alerting your friends?
To be fair, I've done the standard research already — went through Reddit threads, app store reviews, a couple of blog posts — and the answers are all over the place depending on who's writing them and what their incentives are, though others in this thread disagree. From my side, the review ecosystem in this space is basically broken, if the volume in your area is decent.
From my side, what I'm actually after is direct experience from people who've been on these platforms recently, if you are patient with it. Even 'tried it for two weeks and gave up, here's why' is useful information, and that goes double for set up a facebook. From what I've seen, the signal-to-noise ratio is so bad elsewhere that any firsthand account helps.