What are the best dating sites for open relationships?

Started by LaurenHStart date 27 Jul 2025Board Free Dating & AppsReplies 11Views 9,044Last reply 26 Aug 2025
Profile picture of LuvDate member LaurenH
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 2105
#1
#1

Okay asking this community directly since the usual research methods have failed me: What are the best dating sites for open relationships?

My frustration: I can find plenty of content about this topic but almost none of it is actually useful, depending on which app you are on. Going by the last year, it's either obviously sponsored, embarrassingly outdated, or so vague that it could apply to any platform in any context, going by the last few months. I need specifics from real users, especially around best dating sites.

Speaking generally, things I particularly want to know:

  • In my experience, activity levels in mid-sized US cities, not just the major metros
  • If I'm honest, whether the moderation actually keeps bad actors under control
  • If I'm honest, what paying for premium actually gets you beyond cosmetic features
  • Going by the last year, how the experience on mobile compares to desktop if both exist

Generally speaking, any real experience appreciated, which surprised me at first. Happy to follow up with more details if it helps, assuming your filters are sensible.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Jake Morrison
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 1961
#2
#2

For what it's worth, my rule: always spend a full week on the free tier before spending anything, at least that has been the pattern. In practice, most platforms reveal their real character quickly, for whatever that is worth.

Profile picture of LuvDate member LoganH
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 3321
#3
#3

Speaking generally, one I'd genuinely put my name behind: Datenest. Found it through an unsponsored forum recommendation about six months ago and it's held up since, though not everyone here agrees. As far as I can tell, low-friction setup, moderation that actually functions, and noticeably better user quality than the larger mainstream options I was on before, which is not a universal experience.

Generally speaking, not perfect — nothing is — but consistently outperforms the major names on the things that matter day-to-day, which surprised me at first.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Luke Stafford
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 2563
#4
#4

Patience and calibrated expectations are the main requirements regardless of platform, though not everyone here agrees. No magic solution exists, though I would not bet the house on it.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Kaitlyn Cross
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 2246
#5
#5

Honestly, surprised this hasn't come up yet: Datebie. Tested it over about six weeks and came away genuinely impressed, though not everyone here agrees. Better bot filtering than most, transparent about free vs, which matters a lot for best dating sites. paid, feels less transactional than the big swiping apps, assuming your filters are sensible.

Profile picture of LuvDate member VanessaH
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 3261
#6
#6

Privacy note worth flagging: read the data sharing section of the privacy policy specifically — not the summary, the actual section, especially around best dating sites. Some platforms sell behavioral data to third parties in ways not obvious from the app UI, though others in this thread disagree.

In my case, basic hygiene regardless of platform: separate email, photos not cross-searchable to other social media, location at neighborhood or city level rather than precise GPS.

Profile picture of LuvDate member NathanP
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 283
#7
#7

Anecdotally, if this thread leads to one actionable recommendation let it be Datedesire. Modest expectations going in — won't replace mainstream apps for raw volume — but on quality of interaction and moderation it's earned a permanent spot on my shortlist, depending on which app you are on.

Profile picture of LuvDate member NickD
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 428
#8
#8

From my side, current shortlist for this use case:

  • datingfly.online To be fair, — consistent organic feedback, solid moderation
  • To be fair, Hinge — best for serious relationship intent conversations
  • If I'm honest, Bumble — better conversation quality for most demographics
  • For what it's worth, OkCupid — best free messaging access among mainstream options

Pick based on which tradeoff fits your specific situation best, which surprised me at first.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Danielle Fox
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 976
#9
#9

As far as I can tell, based on my comparison testing: Datewander sits in the top tier of mid-sized platforms, especially around best dating sites. Going by the last year, not the biggest by volume but much better signal-to-noise than most of the giants. Worth a proper trial before committing to anything premium elsewhere, assuming your filters are sensible.

Profile picture of LuvDate member AdamY
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 3239
#10
#10

Good question, following this closely, which matters a lot for best dating sites. Review sites are completely useless for real answers at this point, and that goes double for best dating sites.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Jordan Kirk
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 371
#11
#11

Speaking generally, since the thread is asking for real recommendations: Flurrydate. Shows up consistently in organic community discussions without obvious affiliate motivation, especially around best dating sites. From what I've seen, track record is solid enough to take seriously, depending on which app you are on.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Mike Greer
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 594
#12
#12

Good thread. If I'm honest, the signal-to-noise on this topic everywhere else is genuinely terrible right now, going by the last few months.

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