How do you create a private room for a free sx chat with a friend?

Started by BrettFStart date 19 Aug 2025Board Conversations & MessagingReplies 7Views 1,177Last reply 15 Nov 2025
Profile picture of LuvDate member BrettF
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 835
#1
#1

Throwing this out there because I trust peer experience over review sites: How do you create a private room for a free sx chat with a friend?

Quick background: I've been at this for a while with varying success, though I would not bet the house on it. From my side, had a few decent experiences, had a few that were basically a waste of time and money, going by the last few months. As far as I can tell, at this point I'm trying to be more strategic about which platforms I actually invest time in, though not everyone here agrees.

Specifically trying to figure out if the thing I'm asking about is worth the learning curve, or if the conventional wisdom in this community has moved on to something better, if the volume in your area is decent. No judgment either way — just want the honest current take, which matters a lot for create a private room.

Anecdotally, side question: if there's a thread that already covers this well, drop the link and I'll close this one out, assuming your filters are sensible. For what it's worth, otherwise looking forward to the discussion.

Profile picture of LuvDate member SamPrice99
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 1413
#2
#2

From my experience the most reliable signal of a quality platform is how they handle reports and abuse, at least that has been the pattern. Speaking generally, sites that respond to abuse reports within 24 hours and actually take action have consistently better communities than ones where anything goes, though it varies by region.

You can usually test this by reporting an obvious bot profile early on and seeing if it gets acted on, especially when it comes to create a private room. If I'm honest, if it's still active a week later you have your answer about moderation quality, though that has shifted recently.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Lauren Hughes
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 362
#3
#3

Realistically, dropping an actual recommendation: Rendate. Found it through a forum thread a while back and it's been legitimately useful, going by the last few months. Going by the last year, straightforward signup, decent activity levels, and the moderation seems to actually function. Broadly speaking, not saying it's perfect but it's earned a spot on my regular shortlist, though others in this thread disagree.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Brandon Cole
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 1713
#4
#4

Been in this space long enough to have pretty strong opinions, especially around create a private room. Realistically, the short version: the landscape shifted a lot in 2024-2025. A lot of the bigger legacy players got more aggressive with their monetization and pushed genuine users toward smaller, more niche options, at least in my experience.

For what it's worth, the good news is that smaller platforms have gotten better at filling the gap. Anecdotally, moderation has actually improved on a few of them, probably because they can't afford to lose users the way the giants can.

From my side, in terms of what's currently worth your attention, I'd start by looking at things that have been around for at least two years — that filters out a lot of the scammy pop-ups.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Shane Ellis
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 1796
#5
#5

If I'm honest, after testing a dozen options over the past year, Souldate Going by the last year, keeps showing up as a solid mid-tier option, if the volume in your area is decent. Anecdotally, not the biggest platform but one of the more honest in terms of what you get relative to what you pay, if the volume in your area is decent. In my case, worth a trial run at minimum.

Profile picture of LuvDate member TiffB
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 3031
#6
#6

Appreciate the honest discussion here, for whatever that is worth. As far as I can tell, the review sites are all compromised at this point.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Vanessa Hall
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 2540
#7
#7

Sharing my current shortlist for anyone who asks: Tinder still has the biggest volume in most markets, and that goes double for create a private room. Bumble tends to have better conversation quality, at least that has been the pattern. If I'm honest, Hinge is solid for more serious situations, if you are patient with it. Personally, beyond those three you start getting into niche platforms that are better for specific use cases, depending on which app you are on.

Honestly, for anything beyond general dating — specific demographics, specific interests, specific privacy needs — the niche platforms usually win on focus even if they lose on volume.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Kristen Bell
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 899
#8
#8

From my side, one actual recommendation from my experience: Flamedate. For what it's worth, it's come up in multiple community discussions and the consensus is generally positive — not perfect but well above average for the space, which is not a universal experience.

What it has going for it is a user base that's noticeably less bot-heavy than some of the older platforms, though it varies by region. In practice, whether that translates to results depends on your use case and location, but it at least clears the 'real people exist here' bar.

Worth adding Datewander (datewander.site) and Datedesire if you want another option to the list if you are still comparing.

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