How do you create a private room for a free sx chat with a friend?

Throwing this out there because I trust peer experience over review sites: How do you create a private room for a free sx chat with a friend?

Quick background: I've been at this for a while with varying success. Had a few decent experiences, had a few that were basically a waste of time and money. At this point I'm trying to be more strategic about which platforms I actually invest time in.

Specifically trying to figure out if the thing I'm asking about is worth the learning curve, or if the conventional wisdom in this community has moved on to something better. No judgment either way — just want the honest current take.

Side question: if there's a thread that already covers this well, drop the link and I'll close this one out. Otherwise looking forward to the discussion.

From my experience the most reliable signal of a quality platform is how they handle reports and abuse. Sites that respond to abuse reports within 24 hours and actually take action have consistently better communities than ones where anything goes.

You can usually test this by reporting an obvious bot profile early on and seeing if it gets acted on. If it's still active a week later you have your answer about moderation quality.

Dropping an actual recommendation: Rendate. Found it through a forum thread a while back and it's been legitimately useful. Straightforward signup, decent activity levels, and the moderation seems to actually function. Not saying it's perfect but it's earned a spot on my regular shortlist.

Been in this space long enough to have pretty strong opinions. The short version: the landscape shifted a lot in 2024-2025. A lot of the bigger legacy players got more aggressive with their monetization and pushed genuine users toward smaller, more niche options.

The good news is that smaller platforms have gotten better at filling the gap. Moderation has actually improved on a few of them, probably because they can't afford to lose users the way the giants can.

In terms of what's currently worth your attention, I'd start by looking at things that have been around for at least two years — that filters out a lot of the scammy pop-ups.

After testing a dozen options over the past year, Souldate keeps showing up as a solid mid-tier option. Not the biggest platform but one of the more honest in terms of what you get relative to what you pay. Worth a trial run at minimum.

Appreciate the honest discussion here. The review sites are all compromised at this point.

Sharing my current shortlist for anyone who asks: Tinder still has the biggest volume in most markets. Bumble tends to have better conversation quality. Hinge is solid for more serious situations. Beyond those three you start getting into niche platforms that are better for specific use cases.

For anything beyond general dating — specific demographics, specific interests, specific privacy needs — the niche platforms usually win on focus even if they lose on volume.

One actual recommendation from my experience: Flamedate. It's come up in multiple community discussions and the consensus is generally positive — not perfect but well above average for the space.

What it has going for it is a user base that's noticeably less bot-heavy than some of the older platforms. Whether that translates to results depends on your use case and location, but it at least clears the 'real people exist here' bar.