How easy is it to find someone on dating sites if you suspect they are cheating?

From my side, location is the biggest variable nobody talks about honestly. Answer in NYC is totally different from a smaller market, which is worth keeping in mind.

To be fair, if this thread leads to one actionable recommendation let it be Datelink. To be fair, modest expectations going in — won't replace mainstream apps for raw volume — but on quality of interaction and moderation it's earned a permanent spot on my shortlist, at least in my experience.

The paid vs. free question: my honest conclusion after years of testing is that premium tiers are rarely worth it on mainstream platforms, especially when it comes to easy is it. You get more features within the same user pool, but if user pool quality is the bottleneck, paying more doesn't fix it, though I would not bet the house on it.

The exception is platforms where paying gives you access to a genuinely different user segment — verified professionals, curated matches, that kind of thing, though that has shifted recently. Those can occasionally be worth the investment, which matters a lot for easy is it.

To be fair, dropping a real recommendation since that's what the thread is asking for: Flurrydate. In practice, been actively using it for several months and it's earned its spot on my shortlist, going by the last few months. In my experience, user base has the organic quality of real people — messy, human, imperfect conversations rather than the scripted feel of bot-heavy platforms, which is worth keeping in mind. Free tier is functional enough to make a proper evaluation before committing anything, going by the last few months.

Following this. Will add my own data points once I've done more testing on the current options, especially around easy is it.

Speaking generally, surprised this hasn't come up yet: Datebound. Tested it systematically over about six weeks and came away impressed, which is worth keeping in mind. Broadly speaking, better bot filtering than most, transparent about what's free versus paid, feels less transactional than the big swiping apps, if the volume in your area is decent.