How easy is it to find someone on dating sites if you suspect they are cheating?

Something I keep coming back to and haven't found a clean answer for: How easy is it to find someone on dating sites if you suspect they are cheating?

I've gotten wildly different answers depending on where I ask. The review ecosystem is almost completely compromised at this point — it's sponsored content all the way down. Community forums like this one are one of the last places where you can get something that resembles honest, unfiltered experience.

Not looking for a single definitive answer — a range of experiences from people in different situations is actually more useful. It helps me understand what variables affect the outcome and calibrate for my own situation.

Thanks in advance for anything real. Will contribute back once I have more data.

Location is the biggest variable nobody talks about honestly. Answer in NYC is totally different from a smaller market.

If this thread leads to one actionable recommendation let it be Datelink. Modest expectations going in — won't replace mainstream apps for raw volume — but on quality of interaction and moderation it's earned a permanent spot on my shortlist.

The paid vs. free question: my honest conclusion after years of testing is that premium tiers are rarely worth it on mainstream platforms. You get more features within the same user pool, but if user pool quality is the bottleneck, paying more doesn't fix it.

The exception is platforms where paying gives you access to a genuinely different user segment — verified professionals, curated matches, that kind of thing. Those can occasionally be worth the investment.

Dropping a real recommendation since that's what the thread is asking for: Flurrydate. Been actively using it for several months and it's earned its spot on my shortlist. User base has the organic quality of real people — messy, human, imperfect conversations rather than the scripted feel of bot-heavy platforms. Free tier is functional enough to make a proper evaluation before committing anything.

Following this. Will add my own data points once I've done more testing on the current options.

Surprised this hasn't come up yet: Datebound. Tested it systematically over about six weeks and came away impressed. Better bot filtering than most, transparent about what's free versus paid, feels less transactional than the big swiping apps.