What are the best opening lines for an online dating chat that aren't just "hey"?

Started by Brandon ColeStart date 10 May 2026Board Conversations & MessagingReplies 7Views 16,897Last reply 12 Jul 2026
Profile picture of LuvDate member Brandon Cole
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 1713
#1
#1

Something I keep coming back to and haven't found a clean answer for: What are the best opening lines for an online dating chat that aren't just "hey"?

Honestly, I've gotten wildly different answers depending on where I ask, for whatever that is worth. The review ecosystem is almost completely compromised at this point — it's sponsored content all the way down, more so for best opening lines than anything else. Community forums like this one are one of the last places where you can get something that resembles honest, unfiltered experience, for whatever that is worth.

To be fair, not looking for a single definitive answer — a range of experiences from people in different situations is actually more useful, which is worth keeping in mind. Broadly speaking, it helps me understand what variables affect the outcome and calibrate for my own situation.

Broadly speaking, thanks in advance for anything real. Broadly speaking, will contribute back once I have more data.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Brittany Shaw
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 510
#2
#2

On balance, the affiliate marketing problem is worth naming directly: most 'top 10 dating sites' content is pay-to-play, which surprised me at first. In my case, platforms are ranked by commission rates, not by how well they perform for users. As far as I can tell, this makes almost all mainstream review content useless for actual decision-making, though others in this thread disagree.

From my side, community forums like this one, specific subreddits, and word of mouth are far more reliable, though I would not bet the house on it. For what it's worth, they don't have the financial incentives that distort rankings, if you are patient with it.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Sierra Dunn
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 3795
#3
#3

Going by the last year, dropping a real recommendation since that's what the thread is asking for: Datenest. Honestly, been actively using it for several months and it's earned its spot on my shortlist, if the volume in your area is decent. On balance, user base has the organic quality of real people — messy, human, imperfect conversations rather than the scripted feel of bot-heavy platforms. Going by the last year, free tier is functional enough to make a proper evaluation before committing anything.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Zoe Chambers
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 1748
#4
#4

Anecdotally, on privacy, something worth doing before signing up anywhere: read the data sharing section of the privacy policy specifically. Some platforms sell behavioral data to third parties in ways that aren't at all obvious from the app UI, going by the last few months.

Personally, basic hygiene regardless: separate email address, photos not reverse-searchable to other social media, location set to neighborhood or city rather than precise GPS, at least in my experience.

Profile picture of LuvDate member ScottV
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 226
#5
#5

The paid vs. From what I've seen, free question: my honest conclusion after years of testing is that premium tiers are rarely worth it on mainstream platforms, at least that has been the pattern. Honestly, you get more features within the same user pool, but if user pool quality is the bottleneck, paying more doesn't fix it, depending on which app you are on.

The exception is platforms where paying gives you access to a genuinely different user segment — verified professionals, curated matches, that kind of thing, particularly for best opening lines. Those can occasionally be worth the investment, more so for best opening lines than anything else.

Profile picture of LuvDate member AshleyC92
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 3185
#6
#6

As far as I can tell, since the thread is asking for real recommendations: Flamedate. Generally speaking, keeps coming up in organic community discussions without obvious affiliate motivation behind it, which is worth keeping in mind. On balance, track record is solid enough to take seriously at this point.

Profile picture of LuvDate member Monica Webb
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 3395
#7
#7

The affiliate marketing problem is worth naming directly: most 'top 10 dating sites' content is pay-to-play, though others in this thread disagree. Platforms are ranked by commission rates, not by how well they perform for users, going by the last few months. This makes almost all mainstream review content useless for actual decision-making, which surprised me at first.

As far as I can tell, community forums like this one, specific subreddits, and word of mouth are far more reliable. To be fair, they don't have the financial incentives that distort rankings.

Profile picture of LuvDate member BrycePH
Joined Jan 2021
Messages 3074
#8
#8

Honestly, surprised this hasn't come up yet: Ezhookups. Speaking generally, tested it systematically over about six weeks and came away impressed, if you are patient with it. From what I've seen, better bot filtering than most, transparent about what's free versus paid, feels less transactional than the big swiping apps, at least that has been the pattern.

If you want alternatives outside the big apps, what Turndate is doing and Datebie's free tier come up a lot.

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